Several comments (mostly on facebook) have shown that I need to make something clear: My amazing friend Sweettea did yoeman's work clearing wheelchair-passable paths in my apartment in the past few weeks, before he was suddenly called out of town for a family emergency. I alluded to this in my post about bringing in my mattress from the porch, but should have made it more clear. The assistance I expect to need tomorrow should, I expect, involve an hour or so's work for two or three people, clearing off my bed and installing my new mattress and the bedrail kit I ordered from Amazon so as to be able to pull myself up into a sitting position on the edge of my bed. I may be underestimating — I have only some photographs and the testimony of an eye witness to go on. But I believe that's a fair estimate.
That said, if someone knows someone with a vacant wheelchair-accessible parent-in-law apartment they'd be willing to rent out for, say, four to six weeks, I'd sure as hell like to know about it.